About Me

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Oklahoma, United States
I'm a passionate God-chaser who is longing to squeeze as much out of this life as was intended. I'm searching for answers and a deeper relationship with Abba, and in the meantime I want to explore my life and myself and other people in every way possible. And it's highly likely that my passion for mixed media art will occasionally be the vehicle I accomplish that with. Stay tuned...

Monday, December 3, 2007


I just had the greatest idea! I'm having a "THANK YOU CELEBRATION" next Sunday (the 9th) to not only celebrate the end of all my treatments, but to personally thank everyone (that I possibly can!) for helping me through the past 9 months. (and seeing that written that way for the first time highlights for me how absolutely perfect timing-wise it is for Dorcas to be born now!!! but I digress.... ). There are so many of you online who have been praying for me and encouraging me with emails and artwork and so many wonderful ways.... and I don't want to leave you out!!! So what I'm proposing is that I will take beaucoups pix next Sunday - of the cake & decorations etc - and then I'll post them on here and we can all "meet" and celebrate together! What think ye??? Because it is absolutely imperative to me for you to know how much you have meant to me - anyone who is reading this!!! (and a whole passel of folks who aren't!). While I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I have gotten here by the strength of my ABBA carrying me, I also recognize that He very often chose each of you to be His "skin on". So, all that said..... I'm pasting the original invite here that has gone out to my "local" friends, and next week we'll meet here and have our very own "cyber party". Hope to see you here! All my love ~ Mo


A Thank You Celebration

AND IT’S WHEN? Sunday, December 9th – 2:00 to 4:00

WHERE AT? Mehan Union Church, 8300 E. 68th,
Stillwater, Oklahoma

WHY???? To celebrate the end of ALL treatments
and thank you for making a difference in
my journey and my life! DUH!

I hope to see you there so I can personally thank you and tell you how much you made a difference! It’s come and go – please come? Then you can go!


Tuesday, November 27, 2007


Well, I had thought I would get something on here before now. But I had something strange hit me that I hadn't anticipated. Last week I finished the radiation treatments.... all 34 of them, done, finito. That does it for everything planned by my awesome oncologist, Dr. Toma. And I still feel confident and grateful for everything she has done. So, that said.... you'd think I'd be dancing and on top of the world. Well, maybe you wouldn't expect that but I sure did. So it kind of blind-sided me to discover that I'm basically in a funk.... blue.... low..... yes, depressed. Mentally I know all kinds of things that are true - I'm grateful, I'm blessed beyond belief, I have such a wonderful life, I'm excited to see what all evolves with Dorcas.... but still I've been down emotionally. I finally admitted it last night and felt so guilty & ashamed. How dare I feel that way when I have so much to be grateful for!!! And it was so tempting to hide it where no one could see, after all, how could I disillusion all these folks who have loved on me and praised me for what they've seen God do in my life through all this??? I couldn't steal God's glory away like that!!! But thankfully BIG spoke loudly enough to me that I heard a faint echo of a suggestion that maybe what I was feeling wasn't so extraordinary (not to mention that I'm not QUITE powerful enough to screw up God's glory.... hmmmmm). I text'd a friend and asked her if I was crazy for feeling that way.... her loving reply was no, that it made sense. WHAT???? How could it "make sense"???? So I go online and googled post-treatment depression.... and lo and behold, it's not very uncommon. To quote one blog I read, "We need a certain amount of energy to feel positive. Since radiation zaps our energy for some months to follow treatment, it would be normal to be depressed when the radiation energy drop hits. The good side of this is that we should start to feel better emotionally when we start to get our energy back. Unfortunately, from what I've heard, that post radiation energy drop can last a good long time. ... While we are in treatment we have a sense of control and accomplishment. Remember that helpless/hopeless feeling that followed diagnosis but before treatment started? Starting treatment lifted our spirits tremendously. Ending treatment takes away the structure, the activity, and the goal orientation. Anytime we are working on a goal and it passes, be it having a baby, a wedding, graduation, etc., there is a let down when it is over. The same is true for treatment. When the chemo, surgery, and radiation are past, we have to restructure our lives." Oh. That DOES make sense. And helped considerably to make me feel better. I can kind of accept that now that I know. I remember also reading something that talked about finding a "new normal" once treatment ends. I guess that's where I am - trying to find the new normal. So I risked exposing all this to show you... I have such feet of clay.... and sometimes my prayers consist of "I believe... help my unbelief!" But thankfully God isn't dependent on my pettiness or my perceptions. He is still HUGE and FAITH-FULL and LOVING and in charge of my life. So now it's time to gear up for Christmas.... and Dorcas is still awaiting my final efforts on the paperwork... and life is going on. It's still a precious gift and I'm optimistic that the joy of that is slowly creeping back in. Thank you for letting me be real. I love you!

Friday, November 2, 2007

What a week!

Whew, it's been a great week. Let's see..... I received two boxes of Dorcas dolls, one from my blessed friend Elizabeth who started all this, and one from my new friend Monica. They are all so incredible and I can't wait to begin helping them find their true identies. I'll have to take "family fotos" as we go along. And I also got some creative pieces done for a local art center gift gallery - each year they have a tremendous showing for the Christmas holidays and it's a great opportunity to sell some art. So I'm hopeful, but regardless it felt good to create and actually have an end product to view! (pictures will be up next week - I forgot to take any, as usual). And my boss gave me a book she had ordered and wanted to donate for Dorcas' library. It's a delightful little book entitled "Any Day with Hair is a Good Hair Day"!!! Amen to that, sisters! It's full of tips for anyone about to embark on the cancer journey - great tips, some I wish I'd known when I was setting out. What a generous gift.

Then yesterday I had to go to Oklahoma City to have a bone scan done. It was pretty non-eventful as far as the actual procedure goes, but I realized today as I waited for the report to come in that I was a little more anxious about it than I realized. I've had an extreme amount of achiness the past two weeks, which was getting worse rather than better, so my doc's nurses felt like we should check it out. Turns out it's mainly arthritis - but in most all of my joints. They indicated it's chemo-related (and also threw in a jab about getting older.... grrrrrrrrr.... ) but we're all greatly relieved it hasn't spread. And while I was waiting for the radioactive material to work its way through my system and into the bones, I got to have lunch and a lengthy visit with my friend Vickie. I got fed way more than food in that visit, I tell ya!

And God has blessed me with so many visuals this week. I've seen a sunrise to rival any National Geographic photo of the Serengeti.... and had my breath taken away by the view of a cloud laying over fields as I topped a hill on my way to work. The trees are just warming up to their full applause (Isaiah 55:12 "For you will go out with joy and be led forth with peace; the mountains and the hills will break forth into shouts of joy before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.") and the drive to the city was delightful. Does that verse just say it all? Yeah it does.

So I'm looking foward to the weekend. I don't have any big plans and that alone is reason to celebrate. I can sleep in, take my time in devotion tomorrow, and do whatever appears in front of me and seems appealing (keeping in mind that laundry still needs to be done... blechhhhh....). And who knows? I might even play out in my art studio and create something just for fun.... Hope your weekend is wonderful as well.

Monday, October 29, 2007


You've heard me talk about her.... or mention little things here and there. So it's time for you both to meet. Now, keep in mind.... she's not fully grown yet, so I'm not clear on who she'll eventually be... but I'll give you as much as I know right now. OK? Let's begin at the beginning....

On the morning of February 23rd of this year, God took me into scripture, as He has many other mornings. But that morning was different. It was the morning of the day I was to have my biopsy, and on top of that, my ex had just bailed on taking me to it, which absolutely crushed me (and later that day I found out that the reconciliation I thought we had wasn't to be. But I digress.....). So I wasn't in the best of places that morning. ANYWAY, here is where He took me:
Acts 9:36-42 36 Now in Joppa there was a certain disciple named Tabitha (which translated in Greek is called Dorcas); this woman was abounding with deeds of kindness and charity, which she continually did.37 And it came about at that time that she fell sick and died; and when they had washed her body, they laid it in an upper room.38 And since Lydda was near Joppa, the disciples, having heard that Peter was there, sent two men to him, entreating him, "Do not delay to come to us."39 And Peter arose and went with them. And when he had come, they brought him into the upper room; and all the widows stood beside him weeping, and showing all the tunics and garments that Dorcas used to make while she was with them.40 But Peter sent them all out and knelt down and prayed, and turning to the body, he said, "Tabitha, arise." And she opened her eyes, and when she saw Peter, she sat up.41 And he gave her his hand and raised her up; and calling the saints and widows, he presented her alive.42 And it became known all over Joppa, and many believed in the Lord. (NAS)

Initially, I thought it was for me (I even nick-named myself "Dorc" for a short while )... that I was being resurrected into a new life, a new Mo. And in truth I was. That day was defining for me, and my life shifted forever in a new direction from that day forward. But He has since shown me that it's also part of a MUCH bigger picture.

What happened for me when I began this journey through breast cancer was that I ran into a drought of information and support in the Stillwater area. As far as how to seek treatment, what to seek, who to seek it from, it was piece-meal at best, and non-existent for the norm. And somehow I knew I wanted to remedy that when I was through with my treatments. Well, again, God had a much bigger plan.

Here is who Dorcas is as I've been shown so far: initially she will be a ministry of information. Lists of oncologists, surgeons, cancer centers, support organizations, network organizations, treatment options, pertinent questions to be asking, etc. It will also consist of education - doctors, civic organizations, schools, churches, etc., targeting early detection, but also including referral/resource information, and also early warnings. Between my biopsy and seeing a doctor for the first time, I took myself off my hormone therapy because just what I read so far indicated that hormones feed tumors, and I didn't want to feed anymore than I had to. But I started having hot flashes, so I contacted my primary physician's office. I explained what I'd done and asked if there was a natural remedy I could try to off-set the hot flashes. I was told very stridently by his nurse to not take myself off any meds and wait for a doctor to see me and make that decision (which I ignorantly did). When I did finally see my awesome oncologist, she was livid when told what had happened. Sooooo.... education of even the doctors is an area that Dorcas will tread lightly into.

But ultimately, here is but a glimpse of who I believe ABBA intends for Dorcas to be. With Acts 9:41 as the foundation scripture for all she will do, she will be a nurturing ministry for women whose lives are touched by cancer. To begin with it'll focus primarily on breast cancer, because that's obviously the type of cancer I have knowledge and experience with. But it's my hope that as she grows, more and more women from other walks of cancer will step forward to come alongside and minister from their experiences. I want and believe Dorcas' primary function will be to love women all the way through every aspect of their journey with cancer. I envision a volunteer base which will offer assistance and loving companionship whether a women needs someone to take her to doctor visits, or chemo/radiation treatments, someone to check on her after treatments and bring soup or tea or whatever, to check on her blood counts, or just to let her know she's not alone. I picture workshops of all kinds - art therapy, journalling, make-up, wig styling, food prep and recipe ideas that compensate for the myriad of side effects, tea parties, hat parties, celebrations of end of treatments. I can see support groups, hats and scarves and wigs. I see a gift gallery - supplied not only by area artists willing to help support, but also by the women themselves. And I even see one-on-one counselling available someday. A surprising number of marriages endure a lot of stress, some ending in divorce, because of the identity issues associated with breast cancer especially. You take away the two primary "attractions" for men - a woman's hair and breasts - and it's not hard to envision potential problems for both the women and their mates.

But the latest revelation of what Dorcas can do has me very excited. Here's a link that's fun just to see, but it provided the new vision for what can happen (http://www.showusyourbra.org/) - namely, provide breast prostheses and mastectomy bras for uninsured and underinsured women who have had mastectomies. Because I have been so fortunate and blessed to have awesome insurance throughout my journey, I haven't really stopped to wonder what would've happened without it. And while I was also blessed that I could choose lumpectomy as an alternative, I am very aware of the multitude of identity issues very commonly associated with breast surgery and cancer. And it's pretty much a given that prostheses and bras are not provided unless insurance or personal funds pay for them. NO woman should have to endure that because of a lack of funds or availability. So I am very excited about contacting this organization and seeing what information they will be willing to share. I just recently learned that the American Cancer Society will also provide a bra and prosthesis, so this may be a partnering venture - or it may not be a part of Dorcas at all if that need is being totally met. We'll just see...

Obviously my first goal is to apply for non-profit status (as a 501(c) entity). I'm about half-way through the paperwork maze of state application and corporate bylaws. That way the legalities are in place to apply for grants and receive donations. I have (through many divine appointments!) already established contacts willing to assist in various ways (Susan G. Komen OKC office, the former head of the art therapy at the Troy & Dollie Smith Cancer Center at Integris (and who besides being a breast cancer survivor herself, has also been involved in many other support resources for cancer), State Senator Judy Eason McIntyre, American Cancer Society/Tulsa office, representative Sue Miller, my oncologist and her nurses, former survivors, potential volunteers, and a wealth of information that pours out from various sources each time I get to talk about her.

One other divine appointment I just have to share. Through an incredible artist friend, Elizabeth (http://elizabethcreates.blogspot.com/ and http://Elizajean.Etsy.com/) who has encouraged and supported me in so many ways through my journey (and my life!) I got to "meet" another mixed media artist, Monica (Girl gone thread wild blog). Because of her generous heart she has initiated a project where artists can create art dolls which will then be donated to Dorcas Project, Inc. to be given to each of the women served. Monica initially sent me a collection of blank dolls which I am looking forward to embellishing and finishing out as a joint-project to kick-start this part of the project. And by the way, that same friend Elizabeth also sent me a collection of blank dolls complete with fibers and Fimo faces! So Dorcas already has her first gifts to offer the women waiting. Thank you so much, Elizabeth and Monica!

So. There's a rough glimpse of her. Please feel free to send any thoughts, suggestions, experiences, ANYTHING! Together we can do what Peter did - we can give women our hands and raise them up and present them alive. All because of love. And I'll keep pictures and updates going as I can.